How to force yourself to change

Make that change

Make that change

I believe that people can change. Think about it… you changed direction and ended up here… right now… reading this. We change lanes. We choose the ham sandwich instead of turkey… sometimes… with mustard. Today I’ll add cheese on my Chipotle burrito… I figured I’d change it up; take the calorie hit. These are easy changes and you make tons of them everyday without realizing it. When you write could you switch from your left hand to your right? Could you be an introvert today and an extrovert tomorrow? Ehhh.. probably not. Major changes take effort and energy.

Change me right now

This blog post isn’t designed to talk you into changing the kind of underwear you wear or parting your hair on the left side instead of the right. I’m talking about those fundamental changes to your psyche. Let’s do an exercise. Write down that ONE thing about your personality that you wish you could change.

Are you prone to snap judgments? Are you too bossy? Do you have little tolerance for stupid people? Let’s not always just fix what most would perceive as negative traits. Maybe also it’s a POSITIVE trait that you want to change. Maybe you’re too nice and you’d like to get the guts more often to tell someone to go pound sand. The bottom line is you really can be what you want to be … you just have to work at it.

“Tell me what I have to do then”

I have no idea. I can help you get started. The DOING part is up to you. You know yourself better than anyone does and you’re the only one who will know how to keep yourself on track… towards your own personal finish line. Let’s get back to that exercise I mentioned. Here’s where I’ll keep it real and drop a flaw on all of you. My social skills often leave something to be desired. I get lazy. I don’t converse often enough. I don’t ask or respond to the personal questions that are a part of getting to know someone. My defenses are always up. So… I set out this year to try to improve upon that. I’m not expecting to be King of the World but an improvement is necessary. If I can gain and maintain some relationships that in the past I would’ve failed at then it’s a win.

Force yourself to do it

In my case the doing it is talking. Lots of it. I’m not the best conversationalist. As I said in my last post it’s so awkward when I reach a point in a conversation when I’ve run out of things to say. Instead I’m forcing myself to keep going. Reaching… harder. Engaging more. Sharing stories. I’m trying to stop that inner voice that says “OOh.. is what I just said dumb?” or “Do I sound annoying?”

New Year’s Resolutions suck

It’s important to note that I didn’t make some ridiculous “New Years Resolution”. Those are meant to be broken. What I mean goes further than that. Changing YOU is different then dropping 10 pounds or cutting back on the beer. Making you a better person shouldn’t be a resolution. A resolution is a half hearted, short term pact that you’ve made with yourself. A goal is a definable thing. Something to strive to be or to do.

Stay the course

Nose picking
So now that you’ve got that ONE thing that you’d like to adjust go out there and try it out. I’m struggling with mine everyday. You will too. Traits you don’t like about yourself are really just bad habits. Like picking your nose while driving… you can stop it. It won’t happen overnight but I’m positive you can make that difference. Let me know what you’d like to change and keep me updated on how you’re doing. The comments section below is all yours:

About the author

bsitko
  • Change is the single most difficult thing anyone has to face. Perhaps that is why so many people personally and professionally are “behind” so to speak. What becomes more frustrating for people is the “How do I catch up” syndrome. The look I see on peoples faces breaks my heart sometimes. If you expect nothing but search for everything you can never be disappointed.

    • Anonymous

      There’s nothing wrong with comfort zones. It’s learning to be good at LEAVING it that’s the real key I think. Thanks for stopping by Jonathan.

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